Agree to Disagree

I have issues with my loved ones. Who doesn't? It just really sucks when they also all have issues with each other and there's nothing you can do about it. I guess those aren't really my problems, and I should leave them alone entirely and tell them to talk to each other about it and not me. my issues, however, need to be worked out at some point because I'm pretty sure at some point we'll be bitten in the ass when they occur.

This one loved one has their own ideas about...everything. Which, in general, is perfectly fine. The part that's hard is when I want to discuss one of them. I don't want to start a fight but some of this person's ideas about things make them very mad when under even innocent, "I just want to know what to do" discussion. I pretty much don't want to try to reason with these kinds of ideas, I don't want to confront them about them, or even challenge them. I just want both of us to understand what is going on, in both of our heads. And the fact that I'm not a confrontational person doesn't help because I'm stuck frustrated because I don't wanna make the person mad but I wanna talk about something so I have all of the information about it and know how to proceed. I don't care if we disagree; I feel like I can't get mad at an honest opinion or facts, but I just want to know. I figure its better to talk about it now than fuck around and do something wrong later, but what do you do when you can't talk about it, or don't know when its a good time to talk about it because you don't want them to get mad? Agree to disagree (and leave it alone)?

One of my loved ones has issues that aren't easily explainable. You have to look at their background and then try to reason it out. You can then (kind of) understand what's going on and the reasons for their actions, but they're still infuriating at times. For instance, for most people, you ask them to do one thing and they do it, maybe a little something extra if they can. Maybe. This particular individual will do about 8...hundred and 2 things before they get done. They just want to be helpful, which is totally understandable, but its hard to be okay with that as an explanation when thing #546 that they've done is something you've explicitly asked them NOT to do. Several times. That and the fact that they've been known to manipulate a situation in their favor more than once. Agree to (manipul)agree.

Another one is a little rash when inebriated. Most everyone realizes what's going on; the fool is inebriated. You don't really take anything this person says very seriously when they're in this state, especially when you know its something the person couldn't do anyway. But sometimes its hard because these are the times that they let you know how much you mean to them. Or how much they wanna kick someone's ass. So when does it mean something, and when doesn't it? I know there is a saying about drunks being truthful or something, but this person is drunk about 85% of the time. And they used to be a professional liar. For job purposes. Hard to say. Hard to deal with at times. It gets tiresome to hear the same thing more than once from this person because they've forgotten that they've told you something before during another drink episode and decide to call yo and tell you again at 3am during their current drunk episode. Agree to (drunk)agree.

We all have issues. I have my own with myself I need to work out. They may never be completely worked out, but I'm trying. So far one of them is I understand that I need to speak up when I don't like something or something bothers me. Stop letting it roll off of my shoulders as petty bullshit. I'm slowly understanding better how to pick my battles. The timing is still an issue. Do I do it now, because the issue is present? Do I wait until everyone has calmed down, even though that may mean pissing us all off again? Do I just wait until the other person brings it up? Do I forget about it? I have waaayyy too much stuff going through my head at any given moment, and these are just the first four questions that rapidfire themselves through. *sigh*

G'Night.