My Funeral

Doesn't really look like a good topic, but its something I've had some thoughts and a conversation with my Grandma about.

Don't have one for me.

Honestly, I don't want one when I go. I guess death has never really been an issue for me. I learned early on that it was going to happen one day, and I haven't been afraid of it since. I think it makes me wanna do things that are more risky than other activities (like skydive), but don't get it twisted. I don't wanna be directly responsible for my death, but if I can die from choking on my own spit I see nothing wrong with having some fun.

What is the point of a funeral, anyway? People sit around and pray and cry and do crazy shit like try to jump in the casket and have little kids sit around bored and scared. Dead people are scary. The just lie there wearing more makeup than they ever did while alive, wearing clothes they'd never wear, laying in a pillow encased box looking like the are asleep. That shit, freaks. Me. Out! Is the purpose to pray for the person's soul? I woulda thought the person themselves sealed their fate long before they ended up in the box. Is it for a memorial? You can do that without having my dry-cleaned ass rotting in everyone's face. What is the damn purpose?

This is what I want, instead:

You can bury me if you like but if you spend too much on a casket I will come back and haunt you for it. Why people spend what the do for someone who wont fell it or know it is beyond me. Honestly, If you could put me in the ground where my decomposing body could give back to the planet, I would totally go for that. You can cremate me too. I really don't care how my body gets back to the earth, just make sure it does and don't spend too much money doing it.

You can make a video of my life. Hopefully it'll be worthwhile. Play it at a memorial service. This is the most public, multiple-partied mourning I want done for me. A memorial service. Just remember that I existed. I don't wanna be dolled up and put on display either, find an awesome picture or two of me looking happy and amazing and use those. And geez, if you never gave me flowers a day in my life, don't bring em when I'm dead.

Then, go have a frickin party. Celebrate! I'm not here anymore and have moved on. Odds are, I was content and more than likely happy with not being here anyway! I wont be sad, neither should you. I know its harder done than said, but seriously, I want the people who loved me to rejoice and celebrate the fact that I am in a better place, even if that just means I'm not alive. Everyone has different beliefs, but trust me, I'm in a better place. So, drink up, play some music I woulda liked, eat some good food, maybe make a coupla babies to replace me, and be merry!