I feel like writing about the different things I've learned in 25 years of life. I don't know why. I haven't been living all that long, but I feel like sharing. Maybe what I write will help someone. Maybe I'm delusional. Whatever.
There is no such thing as Prince damn Charming. There is no man that will come for me, sweep me off of my feet, and we'll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. WTF is that anyway, happily ever after? You ever notice they don't show you that part of the fairy tale? There is a reason. It doesn't exist. There is work together ever after, or make it work forever after, I wanna kill this asshole but CSI exists so I wont ever after, and divorce. There are some other things too, but but none of them come to happily ever after. I really wish we wouldn't get these unrealistic romantic fantasies in our heads only to be disappointed when we finally realize that shit will never happen.
What happens after the horse gets to the castle...
The little boy or girl hits you. Sure, it probably does mean that he/she likes you, but you have to realize that he/she just physically assaulted you, therefore making him/her not good enough for your time. This would quickly eliminate the years of putting up with bullshit we endure.
Then there's the whole soulmate thing. I do believe in soulmates, but I don't believe that they have to be one person, or even a significant other. Soulmates can be found in friends, lovers, and maybe even enemies. There are just people who are meant to be in your life, and for whatever reason, always will be whether you like it or not. I really don't believe there is just this one perfect for me person out there...that would make life a little bleak if I hadn't found him yet. Its sad to see people out there chasing after that one person or feeling like they've settled for someone when they haven't found that "one" yet. This isn't Lord of the Rings, although people in relationships act like it.
This is what I do believe. True, unadulterated, beautiful and pure love will not come to you when you're searching for it. It isn't something you'll just find. Maybe you will, but it hasn't worked out so well in my experience. Its something you have to be completely careful with as well, cuz its easy to mess up sometimes. If you want it, you have to let it come to you. Give up. The best relationships I've ever been in (and if you know me, you know I've been in plenty) happened unexpectedly and not when I was after the other person. When I truly didn't care if they happened and was having fun and being carefree and happy in my singleness. People don't wanna be around you when you're trying too hard or are all stressed out because you're busy trying to make something work that never should have happened; they want to see you at your best and happy. Be happy. I know it can get lonely, but maybe you need some alone time. Both situations (being single and being in a relationship) take work to be happy with, just different kinds of work. If you can't happy and have fun by yourself, how are you gonna be happy with someone? They aren't going to be around every minute of every single day (and who would want to be anyway, you need some time apart).
I believe that sometimes you need to be by yourself. Figure yourself out and how to make and keep yourself happy. You can't help another person know you if you don't know yourself. Then if someone happens along that fits into the kinds of things you like (and not always perfectly because we'd all have to build our total perfect person for that to work) and likes you for you and you can like them for them then fine. None of this should be a struggle. Being single shouldn't be a struggle. Especially not if you believe in marriage and that the only thing that should really part the two of you is death (outside of infidelity and abuse, but that's another story). You should be out there having all of the fun you can while single because FOREVER is a reallllllly long time. There are things you can't do the same when you're married, and you wont be able to do them ever again (in most cases of full term marriage). Be HAPPY. The sexiest thing you can do is smile. No one wants to be around the party pooper, so be yourself and be happy; it will come to you.
When you happen to find someone to be with, happily ever after is still bullshit. That doesn't just fall in your lap like that. There will be times you have to work things out. There will be issues that arise. There will be arguments (not necessarily fights), disagreements, trials, tribulations, and all sorts of other mess. Other people will try your relationship. You yourselves will try your relationship, not purposely so at times. You have to realize that you have to be willing to fight for it if you have to, but it shouldn't be a fight just to be in it. Fight not meaning anything physical. Sometimes fighting for it is simply the compromise that allows him to control the television at certain hours and for you to stay on the telephone with your friends for hours uninterrupted. For him to go out to bars and for you to have girls night out without argument about either activity. Whatever. It happens. Its not easy either way. No matter how much love and understanding and good health and wealth you have, happily ever after is bullshit. You can be happy, even every single day, with your relationship, but don't expect for there not to have been work involved, or for nothing 'bad' to have ever happened. Deal with it.
G'Night!
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