Domestic. Violence. Is. NOT. Okay.

I wrote about this before, right when the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing went down here: http://hoodedelite.blogspot.com/2009/02/domestic-violence.html

Here is an account of the police report from that night: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20263126,00.html

Recently, Chris Brown appeared at the Grammys, and even took home an award: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/13/chris-brown-grammys-2012_n_1274458.html

But, he apparently STILL doesn't take criticism so well: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/chris-brown-responds-with-angry-tweet-to-grammy-performances-criticism/2012/02/15/gIQAcAwMGR_story.html

My opinion on the matter stays the same, even years later. You DON'T put your hands on other people, but especially not when they are of another gender, and ESPECIALLY not when they really can't defend themselves against you. It's not right to beat people in the face. PERIOD. I'm not saying I've never WANTED to beat someone in the face. The feelings happen. It's what you DO with them that counts. If Rihanna had beat Chris in the face mercilessly that night I'd be saying the same thing.

Maybe it's because I've witnessed domestic violence firsthand. Maybe the fact that I watched my mom beat on my dad (and he was bigger than her!) and she watched men beat on her mom makes me always feel some kind of way about this topic. *sigh*

So many people defend him. I really don't get it. I could see if they were just saying that his music is great and we should just stick to listening to his music, but people are OUTRIGHT defending him. Saying they'd take a CB beating if he offered. Saying what he did doesn't even matter because she forgave him and because he makes hit records. Comparing this situation to those of Kobe Bryant and his wife, or R. Kelly and the girls he allegedly peed on. Where have we gone wrong?

Here's how I feel:

1. Domestic violence is WRONG. Talk about it. Leave. Write about it. DON'T HIT.
2. Kobe cheated. It's not the same. Even though he may have disappointed some of his more conservative fans, what he did only really affects his marriage. Sure, I don't want my kids looking up to cheaters, but hopefully they'll have their parents to look up to for that stuff anyway.
3. R. Kelly allegedly peed on underage girls. I really don't like the fact that he seems to be a lifetime predator of little girls, and what he may have done was wrong too, but there was no real physical harm involved. I will say in his case though, a lot of misguided parents had to be involved, letting their daughters hang out with him. I don't care how much money you have, I'm not giving you my teenage daughter. Either way, this situation is not the same either.
4. Celebrities make a living by being in the public eye. What they do is on display for everyone, unless they decide to be as private as they can. So, knowing that everything you do is public, why in the hell would you beat someone in the face? I don't feel sorry for him. He knew who he was. I'm tired of the tantrums about it. People are going to ask questions about it until he dies, and then still. I get mad at people who defend him on the "leave him alone about his personal life, it doesn't affect how good his music is" stance because HIS PRIVATE LIFE IS PUBLIC, AND HE KNOWS IT. If I beat someone in the face, in my personal life, everyone who knows about it is going to have questions. That's the way things work. So, the entire world knows about what he did. He can't expect to get mad every time someone asks about it and think it's okay to throw tantrums.
5. She forgave him. Big WHATEVER. That was HER prerogative. Domestic violence is a nasty cycle of that anyway. If she chose to do so, fine. That doesn't mean that I have to. I don't have to forget about it, at least. The fact that he makes hit records and is still accepted is his business. I'm tired of people getting their drawers in a bunch about it though. Don't tell me I can't be mad at someone who BEAT A CHICK IN THE FACE. WTF? I don't care how he makes his money, but people aren't realizing that HE BEAT A CHICK IN THE FACE, and are acting like it didn't matter AT ALL and that HIS MUSIC TRUMPS WHAT HE DID. Let's be clear. KOBE WILL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS A CHEATER. ROBERT WILL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS THE GUY WHO PISSED ON A LITTLE GIRL. CHRIS WILL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS A WOMAN BEATER. It's the way it is. Deal with it.

Let's make it a bit more personal. If my husband ever decides to beat me in the face (and doesn't suffer from death as a result) I will be mad at every single person who lets that ride. I don't care if I've appeared to have  (or actually have) forgiven him, it's up to the people who count me as one of their loved ones to actually make me feel loved. I can't see how you can love someone and seriously beat on them. That's not love at all. If I were beat on I would think people would support me. If I beat on him I would expect people to support him. I would NOT expect people to say "Oh, well he's a respected poet and an awesome performer. Look at his new chapbook! Listen to his new cd! It's great! He beat his wife a few years ago, and he acts like a 2-year-old anytime anyone brings it up, but she forgave him so let's just award his performances and move on like nothing happened at all!!!"

I really don't care to have to defend why I don't have to care for someone who beat a chick in the face. It's not like I even really liked his music to begin with, and I just don't listen. It just INFURIATES me though at times that people actively say that everything is okay now, or that they'd let him do it to them. That because he is who he is, or makes the music he does, or has the money he does, or has the celebrity status he has, or whatever, that it's plain out fine for him to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, to whomever he wants, or at least, to Rihanna. That's just not right.

It's just NOT right.