Watching True Life: I'm Uncomfortable With My New Body and there's a guy with a lap band who had the saline removed from it so he could eat what he wanted. He went to a restaurant, ate a wrap and a salad which left his body shortly after he ate them (not entirely sure through which end). He then proceeded to have a milkshake (like the thick Steak N Shake ones), a slice of banana cream pie with a milkshake, a slice of lemon meringue pie with a milkshake, AND then a brownie with yet another milkshake. Damn. Yeah, he went back to the doc and had him put the fluid back QUICKLY.
The previous story is however, not the reason for this post (but it was amazing/funny). The other person featured on the show was a lady who had gastric bypass surgery and had a bunch of leftover skin and liked her body less than she did when she was overweight. Her way of coping was to go out to bars so she could be somewhere where people would tell her she was pretty. This lady is married with two kids. He husband objects to her going out to these nightclubs, but there's pretty much nothing he can do about it.
So I've completely been in this situation before., and it sucks. I used to have the need to feel pretty, and I got that from going out. I would put on my makeup and my outfit (that was sometimes slutty) and it would make me feel pretty to parade around in front of other guys knowing they wanted me and couldn't have me. I had a boyfriend at the time, and I'm loyal, so they definitely couldn't have me. The guy I was dating would tell me all the time that I was beautiful, and how his thoughts on my looks should be the only ones that mattered, and he was right. I knew it at the time, but I couldn't accept it at the time because I didn't so much believe it myself.
If anybody know me, they know I'm not ugly by any means. I tend to fall in the cute category, which was where I didn't wanna be. I wanted to be sexy. I wanted to be the hot girl at the club. I'm soooo glad I got over that bullshit. I know I'm not ugly. I may not be the hottest thing on the face of the earth, but I'm nowhere near ugly. I'm finally okay with being the cute girl, the girl who laughs alot, the silly girl. That's me, and I'm cool with it.
Anyway, so the chick goes out to this bar/club/whatever and meets a girl and wants to be friends with people she meets and stuff, and that goes fine. She's leaving and that's when the shit goes down. Some random drunk guy bum rushes her to the ground. She's not seriously hurt or anything and her friend gets her outta the situation, but she is crying and hurt enough to be sore and possibly bruise. This is the EXACT shit the men in my life have been trying to protect me from. I'm glad that I have yet to encounter anything more physical that yelling at the top of my lungs at someone, but I've been really lucky too. At any moment I could have been shot, stabbed, or beat for no reason whatsoever, just because someone else was drunk. Its totally not in my nature to be like "oh I'm not gonna do _____ because _____ might happen" and I'm still not gonna be that way, but the last experience I had at the club has ruled them out for me. Why am I going to the club? I can wear the same outfits and go to a bar, somewhere where I can be accompanied my the beau if I want because he doesn't detest them. I can have the same amount of fun with a LOT less drama. There is ample seating for when my shoes and feet decide to fail, and they play music I can groove to (especially once I'm inebriated), and their drinks are usually cheaper, and there's no cover charge. Sure, people get just as drunk but there seems to be more/better security or something. Yes, I still like dancing. There are places that have dance classes and studios that I can go to for that if I wanna do it hardcore, but the club is pretty much out. I can do without it.
So I finally learned from my own experiences (which are still more of observing others) and watching others. That's not a positive environment, no matter how I try and spin it to make it seem so in my head. The bar isn't much better, but it can do the same thing for me. A dance studio would be awesome. Lessons learned.
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